Disney announced it will license over 200 Disney, Marvel, Pixar, and Star Wars characters for use on OpenAIs Sora video-generating platform, with the deal also including a $1 billion investment in the AI company. What do you think? The post Disney Licenses Characters For Use On OpenAI Video Generator appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTONWondering aloud about whose idea it was to make so much gebakje in the first place, bloated Americans across the nation confirmed Tuesday that they were still struggling to work their way through all of the leftover rijstevlaai from the holidays. Dont get me wrong, I usually cant get enough rijstevlaai in December, but we […] The post Bloated ...

SAN FRANCISCOCiting a right to keep their torsos sheathed in windproof synthetic fabrics, tech billionaires were reportedly threatening to flee California on Monday over a proposed statewide vest tax. If the legislature passes this measure, you can bet that countless entrepreneurs and venture capitalists are going to pack their bags and move their gilet ...

The Interior Department announced plans to replace a picturesque image of Glacier National Park on the 2026 America the Beautiful pass with President Trumps face, prompting a lawsuit from an environmental group. What do you think? The post Images Of National Parks Replaced With Trumps Face On Annual Passes appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTONIn response to her husband Vice President JD Vance beaming with excitement as she opened his Christmas gift to her, second lady Usha Vance reportedly forced a smile Thursday after unwrapping another Bible. Oh, wow, another King James Bible, you shouldnt have, said Vance, placing the Christian religious text on a large stack of Old […] The post ...

NEW YORKIn an effort to bring greater transparency to the city’s public transit system, New York’s Metropolitan Transportation Authority released a statement Monday admitting that large parts of its subway map had been fabricated. Despite the common belief that the map is an accurate representation of the nation’s largest subway system, it in fact ...

READING, PASaying the snot-nosed brat sure as hell better not expect any damn frankincense or myrrh, sources confirmed Friday that a bullshit newborn wasnt even Jesus Christ, the Son of God.Theres not a fucking chance this useless goddamn baby is going to die for our sins, said the childs uncle Brandon Lowrey, explaining that beyond […] The post Bullshit ...

AKRON, OHUsing the icon of a sleigh to denote his unmistakable presence near a residence in northeastern Ohio, NORADs official tracking app confirmed that Santa Claus paid a visit to his former girlfriends house around 3a.m. Wednesday.With our state-of-the-art satellite technology, we can see that ol St. Nick parked his reindeer on the roof and […] The ...

The post Felt Beard Taped To Childs Face Hanging On For Dear Life With Entire Christmas Pageant To Go appeared first on The Onion.