SAN BRUNO, CAExpressing surprise and delight at the notion that gals could also shred, dozens of YouTube users who stumbled upon the Mousers’ cover of Bikini Kill’s Rebel Girl revealed Wednesday that they were astounded to learn chicks were able to rock too. Wow, it turns out that ladies can play some pretty heavy riffs, […] The post YouTube Comment ...

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1 FROWNIN’ AT NIGHT THE WEEKEND 2 EMBERS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT TAYLOR SWIFT 3 PORK ME WITH YOUR CHODE SABRINA CARPENTER 4 RATTLING CHAINS AND SCREANS (9-HOUR VERSION) HALLOWEEN SOUNDS 5 SUSHI IS TOO EXPENSIVE RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE 6 I SPENT ALL MY MONEY ON VIDEO GAMES BEYONC 7 DARK RISE OF THE […] The post Top Songs October 2025 appeared first on ...

Another season of Nobody Wants This dropped on Netflix, marking a new chapter in the love story between a sex-positive podcaster and a rabbi in Los Angeles. Here is everything we know about season two of the breakout rom-com series. Kristen Bell prepared for the role by spending six months learning how to eat a […] The post Everything We Know About Nobody ...

An investor group that includes Travis Kelce has acquired about 9% of Six Flags Entertainment Corporation, planning to advocate for strategic changes to improve visitor experience. What do you think? The post Travis Kelce Part Of Investor Group Aiming To Revive Six Flags appeared first on The Onion.

THE HEAVENSExpressing confusion over the primates classification as an endangered species on the planet, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, announced Monday that He could have sworn He put more gorillas down there. How are there fewer than 6,000 of the eastern lowland ones left when I swear I made Earth, like, half gorillas? the […] The post God Could ...

SEATTLEAfter guiding her client through a grueling 12-hour natural home birth, local doula Raquel Parker reportedly asked mother Melanie Kendrick on Monday if she could keep the baby. Oooh, you guys mind if I take this? said Parker, adding that she would throw in a 10% discount on her birthing coach services if Kendrick and […] The post Doula Asks To Keep ...

BOSTONRemarking that the malevolent clown seemed not to have aged a day in the years since his last screen appearance,It: Welcome To Derryviewer Alana Meyertold reporters Sunday that she could tell Pennywise had gotten work done. “Don’t get me wrong, he looks good, but you don’t come back looking this hot without dropping some serious […] The post ...

OpenAI has launched a new AI-powered web browser for macOS called ChatGPTAtlas, featuring split-screen chat companion and an agent mode to complete tasks. What do you think? The post ChatGPT Introduces New AI-Powered Web Browser appeared first on The Onion.

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As the use of AI increases, data centers are popping up across the country. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the controversial facilities.  Q: What do data centers need to run? A: Water, electricity, air conditioning, and other resources typically wasted on schools and hospitals. Q: Do data centers use a lot […] The post What To Know ...

SAN DIEGOPausing mid-conversation to shore up any doubts regarding his ability to shoulder adult responsibilities, full-grown 37-year-old man Justin Landry reportedly defended his credibility Friday by clarifying that he paid his parents $50 a month for his portion of their Verizon phone plan. No, no, noit would be crazy if I let them pay it […] The post ...

WASHINGTONOccasionally pausing to rub his bleeding temple as he delivered the statement, visibly bruised Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth declared Friday that wobbly barstools were a threat to national security. Our enemies are attempting to destabilize the United States by planting those rickety deathtraps in our nations restaurants, breweries, and ...

NEW YORKAttempting to broach the sensitive subject as delicately as possible, Taylor Swifts wedding planner reportedly asked the artist Friday if she had ever considered dance lessons. Theyre completely optional, of course, but a lot of brides find them quite helpful, said event organizer Riley Hirsh, who spoke in a soft voice as she assured […] The post ...

President Trumps decision to demolish the White Houses East Wing for a $300 million ballroom has provoked public outrage and preservationist demands for a pause, with the formal review processes unable to occur during the government shutdown. What do you think? The post East Wing Demolition Sparks Outrage appeared first on The Onion.

A new five-part docuseries on Apple TV examines the life and career of iconic filmmaker Martin Scorsese. Here are the biggest and most shocking revelations from Mr. Scorsese: Was often bedridden as a child due to a debilitating spaghetti allergy Prefers the more casual “Marty” on set and fires anyone who disobeys Doesnt know how […] The post Biggest ...

FORT WORTH, TXCatching his breath and wiping the sweat from his brow after he realized it was all just a bad dream, Texas National Guard member Jason Ringgold reportedly woke up screaming at 3 a.m. Thursday after having a nightmare about Americans peacefully going about their daily lives. Oh God, they were carrying groceries and […] The post National ...

LOS ANGELESDeclaring that some animals simply got the goods and you know it when you see it,” officials at a local animal shelter confirmed Thursday that a newly acquired rescue dog lacked the X factor required to be adopted. Were looking for a little razzle-dazzle, and all we got is this total dud cowering in […] The post Shelter Dog Just Doesnt Have ...

CHICOPEE, MASaying that she couldnt recall a time of familial peace since the early 90s, area woman Melissa Maynard confirmed Wednesday that her parents were actively feuding with at least one aunt at all times. If theyre not fighting with Aunt Linda, then theyre definitely badmouthing Aunt Michelle, said Maynard, explaining that the most recent […] The ...

CHICAGORevealing a highly calibrated system that he has fine-tuned over a lifetime of trial and error, local man Ken Stafford told reporters Wednesday that he has a favorite hot dog place for every level of sobriety. Richies is completely disgusting garbage unless youre absolutely hammered, then its, like, the best fucking spot in the world, […] The post ...

NEW HAVEN, CTShedding light on the animals compassionate nature and pop-culture savvy, a study published Wednesday in the journalBehavioral Ecology And Sociobiologyfound that elephants mourn the cancellation of their favorite TV shows. The research we conducted over the course of many years in Botswana confirmed that elephants experience a period of deep ...

Prince Andrew relinquished all of his royal titles, including Duke of York, amid ongoing public scrutiny over his ties to disgraced sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein. What do you think? The post Prince Andrew Surrenders Royal Titles appeared first on The Onion.

MILWAUKEEStaring down in utter terror at his suddenly oversized pajamas, Milwaukee Bucks power forward Giannis Antetokounmpo reportedly panicked Wednesday after waking up 3-foot-2. Oh, no, this is badthis is really, really bad, the nine-time NBA all-star said as he jumped up and down to glimpse his diminutive form in a mirror, wondering aloud in a […] The ...

The Louvre Museum in Paris closed temporarily after thieves broke in and stole several priceless Napoleon-era jewels, the brazen seven-minute raid taking place just after the worlds most-visited museum opened. What do you think? The post Priceless Jewels Stolen From Louvre In Daytime Raid appeared first on The Onion.