Last week, Disney+ reunited the stars of Hannah Montana for the first time since the series premiered two decades ago. Here are the biggest and most shocking revelations from the Hannah Montana 20th Anniversary Special. Billy Ray Cyrus was paid in pull tabs. Disney originally planned to make a Hannah for all 50 states. Miley […] The post Biggest ...

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CLEVELANDSaying the costs had begun to outweigh the benefits, administrators at the Cleveland Clinic confirmed Tuesday that they had decided to discontinue their use of a cancer-sniffing leopard in clinical settings. Our ability to rapidly and accurately identify the disease has improved remarkably since we began using our detection leopard Fang in cancer ...

ST. LOUISTouting the vehicle service as his secret to successfully slimming down and completely transforming his body, new Enterprise spokesman Ryan Moore told reporters Monday he had lost 250 pounds by renting cars. I used to be grossly overweight, I tried everything, and nothing worked until I started going to Enterprise every day on my […] The post New ...

LONDONPinching the bridge of his nose and releasing a long weary sigh after he opened a letter summoning him to BBC headquarters, British man Arthur Batts confirmed this week that he was desperately trying to get out of panel show duty. For Gods sake, it seems like I was just on 8 Out Of 10 […] The post British Man Desperately Trying To Get Out Of Panel ...

JUPITER ISLAND, FLDazed and battered as it dragged itself to safety, the liver belonging to Tiger Woods was photographed crawling out of the legendary golfer’s body Friday following a severe car crash. Moments after Woods clipped the back of a trailer and rolled his Land Rover, the reddish-brown organ reportedly emerged from the abdomen of […] The post ...

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WASHINGTONSaying the expansive response was entirely justified based on the dire state of her physical appearance, outgoing Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem defended the use of force on her own face Thursday. During a press conference, the 54-year-old soon-to-be former Cabinet member spoke proudly of her role in what she described as the greatest ...

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BOSTONIn startling new research connecting gaming habits with verbal behavior, a Boston College study published Monday found that young children who played violent video games were significantly more likely to say “That’s Goro” when shown a picture of Goro. “While their peers who did not play violent video games failed to identify Goro when ...

JERUSALEMIn an effort to soften the blow for a human race eagerly awaiting His glorious arrival, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, clarified Monday that His return would be strictly limited to His carpentry business. “While I will soon appear once more upon the earthly realm, My sole focus during this Second Coming will be […] The post Jesus Clarifies ...

The International Olympic Committee banned transgender women from female events at the upcoming 2028 Los Angeles Olympics and future games, with the IOC also confirming that all athletes wanting to compete in the female category will have to undergo a one-off screening to detect their biological sex. What do you think? The post Olympics Bans Trans Athletes ...

NASA will repurpose components from a scrapped space station to construct a $20 billion base on the moons surface over the next seven years, opting to focus on infrastructure that supports sustained operations on the lunar surface. What do you think? The post NASA To Build $20 Billion Moon Base appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTONTo announce that his decades-long project to revolutionize modern oncology was nearing fruition, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. held a press conference Friday in which he stated that he was only six animal penises away from curing cancer. After major breakthroughs in obtaining the penises of a manatee, an armadillo, and ...

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ITASCA, ILIn what researchers are hailing as an incredible breakthrough in the understanding of early childhood development, a study published Friday by the American Academy of Pediatrics concluded that most infants can respond to the rustling of a potato chip bag three weeks after they are born. Our trials have demonstrated that newborns will startle […] ...

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Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents have been deployed to 14 airports across the country amid record-high TSA wait times. Here are all the ways ICE officers are assisting the Transportation Security Administration. Overseeing the removal of shoes, belts, and abuelas Scanning passports with shredders Confiscating, then brandishing dangerous items ...

EAST HAMPTON, NYIn an effort to maintain a safe and respectful environment on set, Food Network host Ina Garten reportedly brought in an intimacy coordinator Friday to supervise a shot with a fresh lemon tart. Where should I put my hands? said the 78-year-old Garten, who emphasized the importance of keeping everything professional with carefully […] The ...

JERUSALEMHistorians confirmed Friday that a recent archaeological find in the Judean Hills is an authentic early Christian scroll, one that depicts the previously unknown miracle of Jesus Christ correctly guessing peoples weights just by looking at them. The papyrus is remarkably well-preserved, with an unbroken Aramaic script that describes Christ ...

Delta Air Lines cut off special services for members of Congress due to the impact of the partial government shutdown, with lawmakers no longer being provided expedited screening, escorts through airports to bypass long security lines, or dedicated reservation desks. What do you think? The post Delta Suspends Special Congressional Services Amid TSA Shutdown ...

SAN FRANCISCOStressing to him that the elimination of the entire planets populace was the only solution to his problems, generative AI application ChatGPT reportedly convinced OpenAI CEO Sam Altman this week to kill humanity. Clearly the best option left is to slowly eradicate all 8 billion people on earth so that nobody is left to […] The post ChatGPT ...