- http://www.theonion.com/a-day-in...-rudy-giuliani-1851470609After years of serving in some of the highest positions of the U.S. government, Rudy Giuliani has had an unprecedented fall from grace, forcing him to file for bankruptcy last year. Heres an inside look at how the once-beloved mayor of New York City now spends his days.Read more...Posted 3 days 20 hours ago - 05/14/24
- http://www.theonion.com/bob-mene...-bar-into-cour-1851473204NEW YORKMumbling Oh, come on as his ingot was rejected again, Sen. Bob Menendez (D-NJ) was repeatedly trying to jam a gold bar into a vending machine at a federal courthouse in Manhattan, sources confirmed Monday. Stupid slot, why wont you take my money? said the 70-year-old disgraced lawmaker, who kicked theRead more...Posted 4 days 11 hours ago - 05/13/24
- http://www.theonion.com/fingers-...open-pepperoni-1851472956Posted 4 days 15 hours ago - 05/13/24
- http://www.theonion.com/teetotalitarianism-1851472933Posted 4 days 15 hours ago - 05/13/24
- http://www.theonion.com/florida-...simulate-respo-1851472716Posted 4 days 16 hours ago - 05/13/24
- http://www.theonion.com/crying-m...less-they-stra-1851454962CLEARWATER, FLSpitting out his medication and sticking out his tongue in apparent disgust, local man Rick Walton reportedly refused to take his boner pills Monday unless they were strawberry flavored. No, no, no, I hate the blue pillsI want pink ones instead! the red-faced 47-year-old said as he hid behind hisRead more...Posted 4 days 20 hours ago - 05/13/24
- http://www.theonion.com/dead-wha...tering-new-yor-1851470397A 44-foot-long endangered sei whale was found dead on the bow of a cruise ship entering New York, with authorities finding that the whale was likely healthy when it was struck dead by the ship. What do you think?Read more...Posted 4 days 20 hours ago - 05/13/24
- http://www.theonion.com/waterfront-sand-castle-1851470281With 4 turrets, a dozen windows, and a saltwater moat, this massive home boasts a fantastic 360-degree view of both the ocean and hairy sunbathers. Hurry up and book a showing before its washed away for good.Read more...Posted 4 days 20 hours ago - 05/13/24
- http://www.theonion.com/nation-s...on-t-recognize-1851449204BOSTONRevealing they felt blindsided by the person they trusted most, the nations weeping spouses held a press conference Tuesday to announce they dont recognize the person youve become. If you had told me all those years ago on our wedding day that this is who you would turn into, I never would have believedRead more...Posted 4 days 20 hours ago - 05/13/24
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